


Twenty-Five Signs That You're Obsessed With Labyrinth

by underground_archivist



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-05
Updated: 2008-06-05
Packaged: 2020-07-30 10:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underground_archivist/pseuds/underground_archivist
Summary: The title says it all...not to be taken seriously in anyway.





	Twenty-Five Signs That You're Obsessed With Labyrinth

**Author's Note:**

> Note from banshee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Underground](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Underground_\(Labyrinth_archive\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Underground’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/underground/profile).

_Once upon a time, there was a crazy fangirl by the name of Kore. As she had nothing to do one day she decided to give into her insanity and create a list proving it. Since she was still on sugar high _after _she typed it up, she posted it for the world to see. Here it is as follows:_

Twenty-five Signs You’re Obsessed With Labyrinth:

1\. You’ve seen _Labyrinth_ so many times, that you can quote the entire movie at any given time.

2\. Also, you can sing all the songs – including ‘Chilly Down’ – while dancing and acting out with the corresponding dance movements.

3\. As a result, you’re on a first name basis with the local O.R. staff, due to your attempts at removing your appendages.

4\. You’ve remodeled your bedroom to resemble Sarah’s perfectly…

5\. Down to the newspaper clippings of Linda and Jeremy.

6\. You won’t let anyone say ‘piece of cake’ – and as a result you no longer celebrate your birthday.

7\. Whenever you hear someone say, “It’s not fair”, you respond with “You say that so often; I wonder what your basis for comparison is.”

8\. You avoid peaches like the plague –

9\. Or are obsessed with them, eating them at every opportunity, in the hopes of being magically transported to a crystal ballroom, full of masquerading fae.

10\. You didn’t even know who David Bowie was until you saw _Labyrinth_.

11\. Now you’re his biggest fan.

12\. And whenever you go to his concerts you don’t join in with the chants – but instead go ‘Ja-reth! Ja-reth!’

13\. You’ve come up with theories that David Bowie is actually Jareth in disguise.

14\. You write letters continually to the cast of _Labyrinth_ – of course using their ‘real names’.

15\. Because of this you’ve received restraining orders from them.

16\. You throw a fit when you get them – because they weren’t filled out properly with ‘by order of His Majesty King Jareth’ and ‘or you shall be tipped headfirst into the Bog of Eternal Stench’.

17\. You spend your free time wishing away everything handy – brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, bullies…

18\. After a few hours of this happening unsuccessfully, you start making additional offers of using less time, revealing the whereabouts of Sarah, making him homemade pie, etc.

19\. Every time you watch the movie, you hope it ends differently – even though you’ve memorized the whole film. (see item one)

20\. You’ve converted your friends and family to either being as obsessive as you are – or to having them bang their head repeatedly against he wall whenever ‘Labyrinth’ is mentioned.

21\. Over the years you’ve collected tons of Laby memorabilia – by legal, illegal, and _unspeakable_ methods

22\. You’ve dressed up as Sarah (or Jareth if you’re male) for Halloween.

23\. Or you’ve spent every Halloween since seeing _Labyrinth, _as one of its characters.

24\. Even though you used to be an atheist, you’ve converted to a new religion – one that solely involves worshiping Jim Henson, ‘The Creator’.

25\. You’ve been nodding along with this list the entire time.

_After completing this list and posting it, Kore emailed her friends and started a man-hunt for Jareth. All in a days work after all for a true Labyrinth fan. Kore didn't quite live happily ever after...though there were some excellent times when she caught Jareth and locked herself in a room with him for several hours..._


End file.
